The Coincidences Commence

Last weekend Phil and I spent time with our friends in Modesto. I was helping with Hand Born and he was supporting me in my helping. He knows that I would spontaneously cumbust were I to have nothing to stress out about, so he pretends that I'm not as insane as I am in thinking I can DO EVERYTHING, ALL AT ONCE, IN PERFECT UNISON. As it were, this particular weekend gave birth to myriad coincidences, most of which were sexual in nature. Let me elaborate.

Greg, Julie, Elliot, Andrew, Phil, and Myself went to Thai food one night. We proceeded to offend half the restaurant and cry our little bloodshot eyes out in bouts of uncontrollable laughter and general raucousness. I think it all started with Julie and I imitating "the popsicle suck" which, strangely enough, mirrored a certain sexual act. This was all nicely under wraps until Elliot chimed in with "yeah, and you just cup the balls." Just as we thought this inappropriateness was coming to a close, Julie passed her minty chapstick to me and says "this is good for things." I bet it is.

Coincidence number two is slightly less sexual in nature...depending on what you're into. We were all munching away on our Thainess when Phil begins one of his songs. If you know Phil, you know that at some point in the duration of time you spend with him, he will make up a song about you, your pet, or your mama. You think I'm kidding. In this particular song he needed a word that rhymed with "soup." I suggested "poop" at which point Phil took it upon himself to plop a poop-like mushroom into my soup and smile devilishly at me, destroying my appetite for coconut soup and sending me into another fit of tears.

In case this isn't enough hilarity for one reading (I know our humor is exceeding mature, but bear with me) there was indeed a coincidence number three. Greg and Julie had a barbecue and invited all the cool kids in town. Greg and Julie have a baby, his name is Wyatt. Wyatt gets excited and he shows everyone his "lipstick." For those out of the know, Wyatt is their dog and he gets BONERS that look INSANE. Speaking of boners, Phil and I had indulged in a little marital bliss earlier in the evening and as a result, I had a bit of a stain on my incredibly cute layered black skirt. Do it. Call me Monica. I dare you. While at the barbecue, the spinach dip on Phil's bread (I'm being serious) dropped ever-so-cum-like on my skirt, thus creating a NEW stain. I rushed into the kitchen to show Julie and Elliot and OH THE LOOK OF HORROR IN JULIE'S EYES. She thought I had been holding Wyatt and that he had lost a bit of his manhood on my skirt.

Humor at its finest...depending on what you're into.