Ode To Birds

Birds have been attacking people in Santa Cruz. I was one of them. I was walking home from Longs and I apparently came too close to somebody's love nest and was scratched on the top of my head by an evil bird. I have a history with evil birds. Let me elaborate.

The sleeping conditions one lives in when one sleeps in the same room as Phil and Tawny are less than stellar. We talk in our sleep, walk in our sleep, elbow each other, and encounter spiders dangling above our heads (I'll tell that story soon, it's a doosey). We also see evil doves. Or, at least, I do. I did. Once.

I was sleeping soundly when a stirring woke me up. I awoke to find an Evil Dove staring me right in the eyes. It was perched on the side of the bed, arching its little evil head towards me; watching me while I slept and plotting to pluck my eyes out. I immediately scrambled to the foot of the bed and hit Phil's legs until he woke up to find me balanced on my tip toes and my fingers, still on the bed, still staring at the Evil Dove as I shook like a leaf. Phil began to try to comfort me and coax me down from my perch-ed state when I heard a low, guttural moan coming from the depths of the dove's evilness. I was convinced that it was a battle cry. I was convinced that an Evil Dove had made its way into my home to terrorize me. I CANNOT EXPRESS TO YOU HOW REAL THESE FEELINGS WERE, HOW TERRIFIED I REALLY WAS.

SO, turns out that the Evil Dove was really a water bottle sitting on the nightstand, very near the bed. The cap was the Evil Dove's head and the body was the plastic bottle. The low guttural moan was a car revving its engine outside our apartment complex. Yeah, all that drama for nothing. Needless to say, I now have a special relationship with birds and the attack on Sunday was just the icing on the cake, the cherry on the Sunday, the cap on the bottle. Quick, Quick! Name one pet I will never have!!